According to the doctor, I am 2 cm dilated and 50-60% effaced. She is really low. Which I already knew if you know what I mean. :) I've been having frequent but inconsistent contractions and aches that let me know that her birth is imminent. I love this feeling. I don't think there is a superior feeling this side of heaven than the feelings in those last days before birth. It's just really exciting. The anticipation is almost overwhelming.
Since it's Tuesday :), I have 10 thoughts/quotes/Scriptures for the 10 remaining days:
1) 2 Samuel 5: David had just been established as the new king of Israel. When he went forth to conquer the Jebusites, they mocked him and said that even the blind and lame of the land would repel him. "Nevertheless David took the stronghold of Zion (vs 7). . . the Lord God of Heaven's Armies was with him (vs 10). . . David knew that the LORD had established him as king over Israel (vs 12). . . He said, 'The Lord has broken through my enemies before me, like a breakthrough of water (vs 20)." Nevertheless David took the stronghold of Zion- Despite what his enemies were saying, David just went in and took what the enemy was holding because he knew that the God of heaven's armies was with him and had established him as king. We can march in and defeat the enemy standing in whatever territory God has established us to conquer or possess. And when we see the victory, we will know that THE LORD has broken through our enemies, not I have broken through my enemies. That's good stuff.
2) Deuteronomy 2-3: God knows our journey, what is behind us, what is before us, and all that we need along the way, when we need it. He knows far better than we do. Deut 2:3 "You have skirted this mountain long enough; turn northward." -He let them wander around for a little bit, catching their breath, and then said, okay, that's enough, let's move up now. Deut 2:7 "He knows your wanderings through this great wilderness. . . He has been with you and you have lacked nothing!" -He knew every step and direction they took all those 40 years. He gave them all that they needed. Same with us. Then when He knew they were ready to go in and possess the land, He said, "Rise, take your journey. . . begin to possess the land!" (2:24)
3) Matthew 8: When Jesus came in contact with demonic forces and evil spirits, they immediately bowed to Him and knew they had to ask permission to do anything- even be sent into a herd of swine! At one word from Jesus ("GO!") they immediately had to go. Reminds me of how Satan had to ask God permission to hurt Job. The entire time God was in control of how far Satan could go, what he could and couldn't do to His servant Job. Nothing happens to me that hasn't been granted permission by Yahweh Himself.
4) "The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people." -Psalm 68:35
5) So, I broke the fast I was on of only worship music and only Bible. My mother in law let me take her car to the doctor a couple of weeks ago so she could keep my car at home with all the car seats in it while she kept my kids. I hadn't driven in five weeks, and I was so excited to be in a tiny car all by myself with Sirius radio, that 5 minutes into the drive I was rocking out to Led Zepellin, then Stone Temple Pilots, and a little old school Nirvana. Yes, I go to extremes. One moment it was all, "Nothing hits my ears but worship music" and the next moment it was all Smells Like Teen Spirit. :) At least I'm honest. And the cool thing is, it was freeing. I didn't feel the condemnation of God at all. I've noticed that His voice is never condemning. It's always, always loving. And always freeing. If I catch myself feeling chained or condemned, it's time to examine if I'm listening to God or just trying to be holy on my own.
6) My husband said something really sweet today. I found one of those photo booth pictures of us from a date night we had last summer. I was at my skinniest, most toned self and we looked really happy and young. I asked him to take a strip of it and put it in his truck to look at while he's at work, "since I looked so good and skinny in it", I said with a smile. He said, "You don't have any pictures of you pregnant I can take with me? Those are my favorite. I love how you look pregnant." :) :) :) I'm telling you, good man.
7) Sometimes I find myself believing the lie that I need to keep my children involved in all these outside things, get them "out" often, keep them busy. Then comes a day like today. When I announced at breakfast that we weren't going anywhere at all, all day long, you should have heard the shouting and celebrating and seen the smiles. "Why are you all so happy?" I asked. They almost said in unison, "We LOVE being at home!!!" I told them we were keeping our comfy clothes on (I stayed in sweatpants all day), and Maggie started dancing around, announcing, "Today we celebrate comfort! We celebrate staying at home! We celebrate doing nothing! We celebrate TODAY!!" Why do we try to complicate things? The simplest days make for the biggest celebrations.
8) "Whatever an education is, it should make you a unique individual, not a conformist; it should furnish you with an original spirit with which to tackle the big challenges; it should allow you to find values which will be your road map through life; it should make you spiritually rich, a person who loves whatever you are doing, wherever you are, whomever you are with; it should teach you how to live and how to die." -John Taylor Gatto
9) "And now go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being there. Make good art." -Neil Gaiman, UArts Keynote Address 5/17/12
10) "Creativity is just a plus name for regular activity. Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or better." -John Updike