One of the things that most attracted me to my husband was his strong convictions and principles. Brian is a man whose "yes" is "yes" and whose "no" is "no". When he believes something, he lives it, even when it is inconvenient or contrary to what everyone else is doing. He doesn't do things just to be rebellious or contrary, but he doesn't mind going against the flow, either. I admire that so much.
It's also been what has driven me crazy about him at times. There have been a few instances where he has stood up for me or for our values as a family and I have thought, why can't he just leave well enough alone? Why does he have to make waves?? It convicts me. More times than I care to recall, I have gone the path of least resistance just to keep everyone happy and not ruffle any feathers. I have gone the easy route, and in the end, have sacrificed the best at the altar of convenience. I have discovered, That's really no way to live. As Brian says time after time, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." He has asked me penetrating questions at times that have made me angry and defensive at the outset, but in the long run have served to sharpen and shape me as a person. I'm so thankful for someone who challenges me to be my very best. To make choices that represent values and convictions. To do the hard things sometimes.
God has had me on this journey these last several years, and I believe he placed me with this wonderful man to complement me and challenge me and walk this journey with me as we discover what God's will for our lives really is. I am growing as a person in large and small ways. It started with recycling. I never recycled before Brian. Something about just wanting to throw everything in one spot and be done with it. I know, sad. Now we have so much recycling each week that we can't just put it in a single blue bin, we have to travel to the recyclery on at least a weekly basis. It's inconvenient on the days that Rosemary decides to take everything out of the recycling bin and hide each piece all over the house, or worse yet, just leave it scattered all over the kitchen floor as I'm trying to cook dinner. However, my girls are learning that the value of recycling is worth the inconvenience. We're also reusing cans and cartons in unique ways that hopefully stretch their imagination and cause them to think outside the box. Then we started composting. Again, inconvenient to have a bowl full of grossness on the kitchen counter that fruit flies love to swarm around. However, the girls are learning about decomposition and how it helps fertilize the soil. I grew kefir for awhile, which was inconvenient, but we sure were reaping the benefits of health for those months. I have been learning about making whole wheat bread versus buying Sunbeam in the store, which takes a lot more time and effort, but is well worth it in the end. The first few months of breastfeeding Rosemary were terribly painful and physically trying. I had thrush. For four months, I wanted to cry every time she latched on. But we pushed through it, and in the end had a beautiful breastfeeding relationship that I wouldn't trade the world for. Most days, it would be SO MUCH EASIER to just send the kids off to school and let someone else do the teaching. It's not easy to homeschool. But it is wonderful and fulfilling and thrilling in a way I can't describe. I love watching my children learn. These are choices I feel good about. The inconvenience is far outweighed by the lasting benefits.
I've also found that I've become quite passionate about some things. Five years ago I felt like a passionless person, who didn't really believe in anything, other than of course Jesus and the Bible. I have become passionate about homemaking. Homeschooling. Breastfeeding. If you get me started on either of those three subjects, I will talk your head off. I hope my enthusiasm isn't confused with pushiness, but it might be at times. :) It's so wonderful to be passionate about something. Now that I've experienced natural birth, I've found myself getting passionate about it as well. I want every woman to experience what I did. To have pushed through something that was difficult and painful, and to have come out on the other side stronger, is an amazing feeling. It's not that I have become a snob about it. I just want everyone to feel that. And I believe everyone can, if they want to.
We are all creatures of comfort. Human nature is to just follow what everyone else is doing, to find the easiest or most convenient way of doing something. And for what? What are we sacrificing when we go the easy way? Many times, we are sacrificing a lot more than we realize. I am resolved to have reasons for doing things other than, it was the easiest. I leave you with a few cool quotes to ponder. . .
“The end result of your life here on earth will always be the sum total of the choices you made while you were here.”- Dr. Shad Helmstetter, “Choices”
If you remain in your comfort zone you will not go any further. –Catherine Pulsifer
We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are. –Max DePree
Nobody ever died of discomfort, yet living in the name of comfort has killed more ideas, more opportunities, more actions, and more growth than everything else combined. Comfort kills! –T. Harv Eker
It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are. ~Roy Disney
When one bases his life on principle, 99 percent of his decisions are already made. ~Author Unknown