Actual Events at 516 Valley View Terrace Yesterday

The following events are not fabricated or exaggerated. :)

7:30 a.m. The children eat oatmeal for breakfast. Penelope ends up with sticky oatmeal in her hair, in her ear, and somehow, in her diaper. Oh yeah, and all over the table and chair.

9 a.m. Penelope is caught red-handed while unrolling the entire toilet paper roll and wadding it up in the floor of the bathroom.

Noon: The children eat spaghetti for lunch. Penelope ends up with red spaghetti sauce and noodles in her hair, under her shirt, on her white shirt, in her pockets, on her chair, and on the floor around her.

12:30 p.m. Realizing that Rosemary is still crying from being laid down for her nap, I go in to check on her. She has thrown up. It's in her hair, all over her clothes, all over her freshly washed sheets, and in her ears.

2:30 p.m. I replace the toilet paper in the girls' bathroom and go into the playroom to start sorting through 5 loads of laundry.

2:45 p.m. I put 4 fresh pairs of pajamas in Penelope's pajama drawer.

2:55 p.m. I go back into Penny and Rosie's room to put away cloth diapers and find Penelope's pajama drawer open, everything in it strewed across the room and down the hall. I look over my shoulder to see the new toilet paper roll wadded up on the bathroom floor. Penelope is smiling and laughing.

3:20 p.m. As I'm still sorting and putting away laundry, I hear a blood-curling cry from Rosemary in the hallway. I find a smiling Penelope sitting on top of Rosemary. She says proudly, "I bite." I look at Rosemary's hand, now red with teeth marks. Penelope goes to time out. Momma needs a time out too.

4 p.m. Brian arrives home to find Penelope still in her time out. The children and I are throwing out old toys to make room for the new from Christmas. He can see that I am not in a state to cook dinner. My wonderful husband suggest that we eat out. Even though our budget right now doesn't include eating out. Sometimes it doesn't matter.

6 p.m. Roughly an hour after starting to get ready to leave the house, we leave the house with diaper bags packed and children bundled up tightly. We decide to go to China Buffet, Allie's favorite. Rosemary is asleep by the time we get there of course.

6:15 p.m. Maggie insists on using chopsticks for her noodles. Allie hands her a pair wrapped in paper with Chinese instructions. Maggie says, "I don't know how to use these!" Brian points out the instructions (again, in Chinese). Maggie looks at them for a minute and says, "Oh, okay, now I get it." :)

7 p.m. Our crew is done eating and ready to play. Since we are literally the only people in the restaurant, and we are sitting right by the exciting aquarium, we let them all play. Maggie is over-the-top excited to see a fish that looks like Dorothy and gives us a running commentary of what all Dorothy is doing. She even makes up songs, complete with motions, about Dorothy the Fish. Penelope just runs from one wall to another again and again. Rosie watches it all while eating banana pudding (yes, banana pudding was on the Chinese buffet). Awesome Allie keeps everyone from totally tearing up the place.

9 p.m. As I'm drifting off to sleep, I realize I have the World's Best Family.