Just the Nine of Us

Just the Nine of Us

Friday, February 12, 2010

In Praise of Not Having "it" Figured Out Just Yet

Today turned out to be a really good day. I got to go shoe shopping with my friend Linda (which was fun, but at which time I also realized that feet aren't at their best at nearly 37 weeks of pregnancy. Right now my feet are swollen, wide, and generally disgusting. I passed on the heels and just bought some cute but sensible shoes for now) :). I also got to go on a date with my Man. He left his phone at home and we made a pact not to talk about AMP or the kids, which we did pretty successfully. :)

This blog was inspired by two of this week's events. One, a discussion of AMP's vision statement. Two, a look back at pictures from the last 3 1/2 years as a Rodgers Family. Earlier in the week, Brian was challenged by a group of his colleagues to come up with a measurable, quantifiable vision statement for the company. After some discussion we realized that we really aren't sure whether we want AMP to have 10 employees or 1000, and whether it will make multi-million dollars a year or not. There are a lot of unknowns at this point that we are perfectly content with. Both of us feel like this is a God-led thing and we are just following it. We don't presume to know where it will lead, and we are okay with that. The realization that we were "vision-less" (not true, but it was how I felt at the time) made me look at the other aspects of our lives and wonder if we had any vision or not. Were we just riding the waves? Following the path of least resistance? Not visionary enough? Just coasting? Then one night, I couldn't sleep, so I got up and started looking at pictures from the last 3 1/2 years that we have been a family. I kept smiling to myself, remembering all the good times we have already had. The vacations, the adventures, and even the days that seemed ordinary at the time but now that I look back, were extraordinary. We have been tremendously blessed with many AMAZING, "ordinary" days. Days that weren't planned, that just "happened", and have been some of our fondest memories.

Let me just say up front that I'm all about having goals. It's good to strive to attain something. It's great to be growing and stretching and learning and reaching. But I don't think it's so awful to just enjoy today and let that be enough. It's a real gift to be able to relish today, appreciate its beauty, and let tomorrow take care of itself. I've been struggling the past few months with figuring out where I am in life right now. Linda and I had a really good laugh at ourselves today, about how we had graduated in the mall from Buckle, but weren't sure we were quite ready for Coldwater Creek. :) That's generally how I'm feeling about life lately: am I young and hip, or should I give that up and just be old? What is 31? Have I really gone from young, cute, full of promise to middle-aged girl who doesn't look good in jeans anymore?? Where do I shop now? What do I read now? Who am I supposed to be as a woman? I know I'm a wife, a mother, a teacher, a friend, a Christian. But what am I as a woman right now, in this phase of life? And I guess the events of this week have just taught me not to try to figure it out but to enjoy it. No, I'm not in the same phase of life that I was in five years ago, nor will I be in this same phase five years from now. So while I'm here, let me enjoy each ordinary day. Who knows? I might look at pictures of today, three years from now, and say, "That was a really good day." I'm glad I realized it while the day was still here and I could appreciate it as it happened. :)

2 comments:

  1. I just caught up on your last couple of post. I had no idea what a miracle baby Penelope was!! On my goodness!! What a roller coaster! I always enjoy your post! I completely relate!! I laughed about your circus post, because I feel the same way as you - it doesn't really matter to me if we ever go. I've actually never been and don't feel as though I've missed out. But, yes maybe everyone should go once. My plan is to go when I'm done having babies so that everyone does go once and then we are all done! Ha! BTW, how cool that you found out about Penelope on a holiday and she was born on a holiday! Well, love you girl!

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  2. Love you, girl!!! I hope you enjoy your day today! :) I am trying to enjoy and cherish each day as it comes right now too. I have no idea what God is doing with me, and one day I will look at myself and not even recognize myself because of all He has done in me. I believe the same will be true for you. (((Hugs)))

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