We went to the doctor today for our 12-week appointment with our latest child. You would think it would be "old hat" to me since this is my fourth child, but honestly, it's all brand new again each time. It's so magical and miraculous to hear the heartbeat of my child in my womb for the first time. It's such a relief to know that they are alive and thriving in there.
I've had a lot of comments since becoming pregnant for the fifth time (we had a miscarriage with one, but this is our fourth baby), especially when I answer the question of "Are you going to stop after four?" with, "I don't know. The Lord will show us when we're finished." Mainly I've heard lots of women say that they couldn't handle more than one or two, or they could never give up a career to stay at home. I don't look down on those women, and I think on some level I totally understand. Everybody's different. But my heart has always been set on being a mother. I consider it a blessing and a privilege.
I believe the Bible is very clear on some things: that God is the author of life; that He creates babies in the mother's womb and determines the number of their days; that He opens and closes the wombs of different women for different reasons. There are countless examples in the Bible of that. I believe God knows us so well and has perfect plans for each of us based on our gifts, talents, and personalities. He knows what each of us can handle and doesn't give us any more than that. Some of us are purposed to have many children, and some only one or two. We have some friends who have no reproductive problems and have not been on birth control for 20 years but have only gotten pregnant twice that whole time. They have two beautiful daughters and are content with that. I have to look at them and believe that if God had purposed to give them 10 children, He certainly could have. It just wasn't in the plan. Then I look at us, and I marvel at the fact that God has designed me with a body that can reproduce and carry a child to full term, and I am humbled, honored, and grateful. I cannot imagine taking that for granted. At any moment He could close my womb or allow some sickness or disease to come over me that would take away my ability to carry babies. For now, I am going to roll with it and enjoy it. :)