Yesterday was a terrible day. I started my period after being a few days late and getting my hopes up that maybe God was blessing us with another child. I know, I know. I don't need to hear, "But you are already so blessed with five; just be content with that" or "It will happen in God's perfect time" or anything else like that. I already know and believe all those things. I really don't need a pep talk about all that. I'm just saying that it was a disappointment and it clouded my entire day. Period. (no pun intended. HA! See, I'm feeling better already. :))
As the cloud of disappointment hovered over me, I tried to muddle through the piles of dirty laundry before me, while dealing with runny noses and pukey kids (guess we had a stomach bug?) without losing my cool. I want to be the positive, smiling mother that I usually am with little or no effort. Seriously, I'm pretty much a happy person. I can almost always find the silver lining with ease. My glass is half full and I usually do see rainbows and sunflowers in every setting. I love life. So I get angry with myself when I can't just put on my big girl panties and get over something. But yesterday it was the menu planning that had me paralyzed. Literally, paralyzed. Menu planning/grocery shopping is my least favorite task in the entire world of motherhood. For a number of reasons. First and foremost, the foods I want to eat at breakfast, lunch and dinner are completely opposite of the foods my children want to eat at those meals. I want grilled chicken salad and fruit. They want mac n cheese with chicken nuggets. I like expensive chick food. They like cheap food with absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever. Ah, the rub. Secondly, menu planning takes time I just don't have. Third, grocery shopping with five littles in tow is extremely stressful. If you see a young mother leaving the supermarket with all her children still alive, GIVE HER A MEDAL OF HONOR. SHE HAS EARNED IT.
Anyway, by the time we picked Brian up from work to get Allie to violin class, I was a mess. I cried about starting my period, about having to feed picky little mouths three times a day without thanks or praise, about being down and wanting so badly to be up. And he just listened. He didn't try to fix it. Good man.
Today is going to be a better day, I can feel it. We are facing the mountain called Grocery Shopping and we are climbing it. I hope to see someone, anyone, at the finish line, waiting to adorn me with my medal of honor. :)